PERSONHOOD
ACQUISITION AGREEMENT

1. Acquisition

Effective immediately, Abhinav has completed the acquisition of one hundred percent (100%) of the outstanding equity interests comprising You.

The acquisition includes all currently issued and outstanding shares, options, vibes, future vibes, side quests, lore, decision-making infrastructure, snack-related operations and miscellaneous goodwill.

Congratulations.
You have been tokenized.

2. Capitalization

Your cap table has been updated accordingly.

Any screenshots, memories or prior beliefs suggesting that you previously owned yourself shall be treated as outdated financing materials.

3. Governance

Following Closing, the Board shall consist of one (1) director:

Abhinav

Board quorum shall exist whenever Abhinav is conscious enough to form an opinion.

The Board may issue resolutions verbally, electronically, through iMessage, WhatsApp, Instagram, Discord, Luma, eye contact or disappointed silence.

4. Reserved Matters

The following transactions are subject to Board review:

• making objectively horrific financial decisions;
• leaving the function prematurely;
• inviting random people to the Airbnb;
• changing agreed plans with zero notice;
• ordering an unreasonable amount of food;
• saying “5 mins away” while still in the shower;
• dating someone the Board has placed on negative watch;
• performing any transaction materially harmful to shareholder value.

5. The FADE Provision

At any time, the Board may reject a contemplated action by issuing the following formal resolution:

“nah fade”

Upon issuance, the proposed transaction shall be deemed Board-rejected.

Continued execution despite a FADE determination may result in increased regulatory scrutiny, shareholder disappointment and future use of the phrase:

“bro I literally told u”

6. Consideration

In consideration for the acquisition, You shall receive:

• unlimited snacks, subject to availability and vibes;
• periodic chai and/or bevies;
• continued participation in group activities;
• exposure to potentially accretive side quests;
• the prestige associated with being an Abhinav portfolio company.

The parties acknowledge that the consideration is extremely generous given prevailing market conditions.

7. Anti-Dilution

Abhinav's ownership interest shall be fully protected against dilution arising from:

• new friendships;
• relationships;
• new group chats;
• employment;
• moving cities;
• suddenly becoming mysterious;
• claiming “bro I have other friends too.”

Cute.

Ownership remains 100%.

8. Hostile Takeovers

Any third party attempting to acquire control of You without Board approval shall be deemed a Hostile Bidder.

The Board may respond with defensive measures including, without limitation:

• saying “interesting”;
• conducting aggressive due diligence;
• asking “who tf is that”;
• requesting LinkedIn;
• performing background vibe analysis;
• declaring the proposed transaction non-accretive.

9. Fiduciary Obligations

You shall use commercially reasonable efforts to preserve shareholder value by:

• maintaining adequate vibes;
• not disappearing without explanation;
• showing up when you said you would;
• protecting company assets;
• not losing the keys;
• not ruining Tahoe;
• maintaining emergency snack liquidity.

10. Representations

By accessing this Agreement, You represent and warrant that:

1. You have opened this document.
2. This was your first mistake.
3. You have now read enough to understand the situation.
4. The Transaction has closed.
5. There is no undo button.

11. Entire Agreement

This Agreement supersedes all previous discussions, side letters, verbal assurances and statements including:

“bro u cannot own me”

Such statement has been reviewed by management and rejected.

12. Closing

The parties acknowledge that execution occurred automatically upon access to this document.

The official Closing Time shall therefore be the timestamp recorded when this page loaded on your device.

Abhinav — 100%
You — 0%
Snacks — unrestricted